from a couch, darkly recovering from an allergy to new meds.

sad update from Earlier (do switch to other blogs if this is becoming Too Much – we’d like to ;)

……….so by 11AM the “turning red and Hot” feeling has transposed itself Rather Hideously to Covered in hives (yes, nasty blotchy scratchy itchy horrible-ness) and a Swoon-y feeling (and not over Movie stars or interior designers heading-to-milan, or downtown hair-genius-creatives) and a Pounding Headache.

Now we avoid the Internet when it comes to seeking Solace (apart from your blogs, of course) but we Panicked and yes, Looked – we were having an Allergic reaction to the new Dosage.

Quelle depression, darlings.

There’s Nothing scarier that one’s body screaming “WTF is THIS you put inside us?!”

And there’s nowhere to run when it is one’s own body.

(a metaphor for our teen years, now we come to think on it………)

The surgeon said go home and rest and hydrate and go back to the former dosage.

So we Fell into one of those yellow cars and leaned back, our eyes closed, desperate to be Home.

Not soon enough (side effects = nausea) but just in time (enough said) we were home -schoolbags Tossed on the couch and passed out for 4 hours.

we Ventured forth just now to Find a late spare-yet-healthy-lunch in the cool darkness of the tiny italian nearby with garish ceramics and kind smiles.

And now we’re back lying here – the view from so many Hours post-surgery.

The only good thing (see how we Search for thus) is that the new dosage was a generic (we checked the label on the orange – shudder – plastic – sigh – bottle) Not a Brand Name.

You see?

Our body rejected the mundane in favor/favour/preference/orientation to the Expensive stuff ;)

Clever body.

– – – final thought – don’t you think the lighting with our toes left of frame is Ever so Slightly reminiscent of Goya, darlings?

How fitting as we leave – on Business – for Espana, sunday……

turning Red

In an unwelcome preview of becoming More Mature, in time, we had a Horrible heat flash suddenly descend upon us this morning.

It must be due to the increased (don’t ask) dosage of the post-surgery Synthroid.

So scary.

We were at the Post Office (such a rare occurrence but we wanted to send gifts to a new’ish mama in England) and then it happened – we just started to burn up – Literally!

All overcome and rosy, we stumbled into the street (Parcel safely on its way to England just in case you wondered) and in Utter Confusion and bewilderment attempted to Calm down.

Thank god(s) for Large Dark Glasses.

Not a good start to the day……………..

As the Americans say “we are So Over this sickness crap”.

Or as the Brits declare “this illness Lark is Beyond a joke”.

Our fellow Clandestine Columnist provides cheer in our secret emails back and forth and always includes the Delightful cry of the French Knights of Olden days – Haut Les Coeurs!

*sort of Chin up, chaps! But ever so much more glam and french and delicious and Rather Rousing!

Send calm cooling thoughts, darlings – we need it.

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surgeon visit = more meds. #sigh

so our blood tests came back…..

…….so we headed Back to The Hospital for the following:

1. Pressing of the Scar (ow!)

2. Stuff ending in _caine shot up nose (ugh!)

3. Camera up nose and Down Throat (ow!!)

4. Neck squeezed (ow!) for more tumors (all clear there)

5. Pulse taken (excellent)

6. Blood test results – Not So Good

……….so More Meds #ugh

Returning June for follow up.

Depressed.

And then we posted to instagram and the Love-li-ness brought moist tears to eyes.

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Isn’t the Internet bloody Lovely?!

Thank you for listening.

What did people do Before the Internet when poorly?

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.

Thoreau.

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the day the batteries died…….

are we on a Bad Batch of synthroid?

can that happen?

Is there a sell-by-date (we checked, on the horrible orange bottle, seems not)?

Do they cut the synthroid with something weird or is it pure (maybe we don’t want to Know – it’s not like we have. a Choice, darlings – no Thyroid – got to replace its myriad functions with Something Synthetic)?

so yesterday (and no we didn’t tell anyone because we just wanted to get Through It and Work it Out and going to a Hospital for the second time this week was Not on the calendar plus what are they going to do – they’ll just tell us to Rest – which we Did).

did they take too much blood on monday?

We used to give Tons (well, ok, not tons, but, you know, a healthy amount on a regular basis for the British Blood Banks……..until we moved to the USA and the blood-bank-people told us they don’t take English sanguine-ness – shhhhh* – anymore).

Back to Yesterday –

At noon we wrapped up a meeting and felt Fine but tired and got Some More Caffeine.

Then all hell broke loose inside our head.

Buzzing, dizzy-weird-ness, confused vision.

We’d like to tell you that we threw out the coffee at that point.

But that would be a lie.

And we attempt to stick to Honesty here (under the delicious cloak of anonymity that one day may we either delicately-allowed-to-fall-away or rudely trashed – who knows, darlings – the Fates shall decide).

So we drained the coffee.

And the head went berserk.

We realized we hadn’t eaten for a while so perhaps we’d overloaded our delicate adrenals (our Long Suffering Adrenals from years-gone-by, poor lambs) and needed to soak up the caffeine with……

……..Sushi.

Yeah, we weren’t really thinking straight.

We needed to get outside Into the Air and drink a lot of water. We walked briskly round the block with what felt like an impending headache or migraine, if we were going to be dramatic, which You know we Do indulge in on the Odd occasion.

Sandwich shops, cafes, all packed. We panicked a little and slipped into a cool, dark, sushi joint and sat at the counter, drank three glasses of water straight down (did we just get diabetes?) and ate sashimi and a california roll, for comfort from the Other Coast.

Did we call anyone?

No.

The idea of using a phone felt too much in our weariness and dizzy spell-ness.

Got back to the office and crawled by the window to attempt to meditate and re-align where no one could see us by the desk. It didn’t work.

We had a meeting Out of the Office and just decided to Get through It. The air and distraction would help, we were sure (in our moment on insanity).

The meeting was Odd. But we asked all the right questions and it was enjoyable and informative and weirdly trippy with the buzzy head and blurring of vision out of our right eye.

Like we were Inside the Matrix and the life outside was folding in on our right side as Reality bent inwards.

At this point it occurred to us that yes, as we’d suspected all these years, we’re not Real.

Stick with us on this one – we felt like half of our vision was turning inside itself (are our new prescription reading glasses ok? Are we reading too much? Is the not sleeping all the way through the night since Synthroid came into our life catching up with us) so we had a Panic attack.

Silently.

Inside our head.

And then something said – Go Home.

We left the meeting – found a cab – got almost home and felt we might throw up (food poisoning?) so we walked the last bit holding onto the buildings that were moving (in our head, there Wasn’t An Earthquake in manhattan late PM ;)

Opened the door and instantly Our Batteries Failed.

We’re not powered by Batteries, fear not, but the synthroid appears to have the same effect.

On red.

No more power.

Literally passed out (having set an alarm with foresight while in the cab and managed to throw the mobile phone on the couch).

Woke up two hours later and went to the Private View at Staley Wise.

And Felt Refreshed as if our batteries had been re-charged.

Yes.

We had a Malfunction – no more power available – but is it serious or is it just a combination of eleven years of waiting-for-a-green-card stress, working as a woman-in-corporate-America, post-surgery recovery, no thyroid, no parathyroid glands, massive dosage of synthroid, cRaZY manhattan competition on the streets for power, cabs, Caffeine (and – ahem – still on the sugar but definitely Weaning Off and down), being une femme d’un certain age (almost but not Quite there, yet enjoying the glam curves and long hair and general ohRightTheywereNeverListeningAnyway realization of what decent corset-ry and luscious locks and swimming four to five times a week physique does to certain people), the Travel and the stress and the…………………………………(I n s e r t. H e r e)…………………(The list g o e s O n ;)

Yes.

Maybe All of that caught up with us yesterday.

And we just Had to Lie Down.

We feel fine today.

Seriously rested.

But it was terrifying between 1pm and 5.15pm.

Terrifying.

UPDATE –

We are shocked to admit that it took re-reading this maybe three times before we picked up the blackberry and called in Sick to work and then went back to bed – blinds open, windows open, sunshine filling the room – and cried with relief at having taken care of Ourselves.

It’s shocking, isn’t it?

No wonder our Batteries Died – or gave up in disgust.

Update: 12 noon: slept four hours until 11am and we are taking in a little sunshine and a lot of h2o.

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don’t snort the synthroid

hmmmmm.

so they upped our synthroid following latest (awful) blood test results (following the surgery twelve weeks ago which removed three tumours/tumors/Tobias-and-his-sisters, two glands and our entire thyroid – and, for a period of a week – our vocal chords produced no sweet tg voice At All – if you’ve just joined us, darlings)

and the effects are somewhat – how can we put this?

well – our Good Friend KOC puts it best:

our grandmother was on synthroid and cleaned the house a lot – through the night sometimes

hmmmm.

we had a head cold yesterday (if you visited us then, you’ll know we waited it out while remaining indoors for 12 hours and only using PG Tips and soup and raspberries and a lovely homemade stew with gluten free rice noodles – yum!)

No Cold Medicine.

and yet…………..

we were up till past the small hours, madly fiddling with the Diptic photo magicness (see yesterday for results – two years of Day Job travels catalogued in arty-ness.)

And We Did a Decoupage.

Now. If that doesn’t mean synthroid doesn’t have speedy side effects – just saying…..

Can’t be the PG Tips.

and it’s been a while since we had tomato soup but we’re sure there’s nothing untoward in That……

gosh.

well.

If the weight (sigh) drops off. And we suddenly find a desire to start collecting and archiving we’ll let you know.

we don’t actually clean chez teamgloria – our lovely Mario comes in to do that – we have other skills – but, mysteriously, ALL of our drawers and cupboards got tidied last night too

gosh.

What do You think, darlings?

higher doses and lesser worries.

It went alright.

Well, it Went.

Because it does.

But OW.

ow!

It hurt.

The snakey camera up-the-nose-and-down-the-throat (and out again – almost worse, if that’s possible)

Diagnosis. More rest.

And more synthroid.

#ugh

So we took a stroll into virtual monochrome, called a mentor for wise counsel and saw some friends…..

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And night falls in manhattan.

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It’s easier to be hopeful when surrounded by twinkle lights.

some days are better than others: today was Not that day

it has (sadly just) occurred to us, darlings, that this is the bit that sucks.

we were So Nervous about surgery (and cancer) and getting through it without nasty narcotic chemicals that we quite Forgot that the Worst bit might be Afterwards.

so much for back-to-original premise of blog (glorious people etc)

today we sobbed at regular intervals (thank god for general chic European appearance with trench coat and Huge dark Glasses) on park benches, on the sofa, in a lunchtime gathering place that we rarely get to but we had to call in Sick as our allergic reaction to Synthroid/Life/bloody mozzers lead to Most Unattractive Swelling of left hand up into arm (and beyond but luckily rest of body not on display due to inclement temperature).

bitchin’ ends here

the saving graces of today are as follows: labyrinth, Moonlighting, Veronique Vienne (book below) and tea.

Lots of Tea.

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Don’t you just Adore the way VV talks about driving up to the Plaza in a 1953 Ford truck, swathed in satin and pearls? Divine.

The other saving grace of today was enjoying our new scented drawer liners from Crabtree & Evelyn. Summer Hill, in case you’re curious. Peach blossom, magnolia and vanilla.

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Tomorrow is another day. Let’s hope the walking we did today is keeping us one step ahead of the worst mood-crashing effects of post-surgery recovery.

Feelings? Bah.

allergic reactions: synthroid in the city

no pictures today.

not sure what we’d show you, to be honest.

it’s even hard to type (swollen hands).

does the synthroid make our blood sweet?

because we seemed to have attracted a mosquito, lost in manhattan, perhaps flown in for the Halloween Parade, which clearly expressed its desire for us, if you know what we mean.

and so on top of the lethargy and crankiness due to bits of our body looking for the bits that used to be there and are clearly freaked out as shown by our blood results – we are now heavily covered in calamine lotion (ah! Bad Memories of having shingles – yes shingles – when we were 9 or 10 years old) and swollen allergic reactions………..to LIFE.

ok.

Now that’s out (and hopefully someone can identify and laugh “oh yes, that’s the 7 and a half weeks post surgery stage!”) we’re going Back to Bed.

or maybe the sofa.

there’s a lovely autumnal light on the trees outside.

blood tests and tomato soup.

Familiar place……

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so we found out why we can barely get out of bed in the mornings since the surgery seven weeks ago.

our blood tests were Most Revealing.

Amusing moment in surgery office – actually two:

1. Strange choice of art for head and neck surgery unit (van gogh below).

2. Etiquette joy:

thank you for your thoughtful card

oh! You’re most welcome.

not many people send thank you cards

oh, such a pity

wasn’t sure who it was from

(gulp. Did we just put in a team gloria card? Oops)

oh! Yes. We don’t use our original full name in our professional life

(but of course tis the one on our health insurance)

yes. So I looked at the name and looked you up on the Internet.

(gosh)

you’re really up there

(blush)

we do have a rather grand job

and I looked at the site you do too

(another team gloria reader, darlings!)

most interesting

(grin. We Think So)

Nice moment.

SO.

back to the chemist/drugstore/synthroiddealer for a stronger dose, calcium tweaking and adding in a strong hit of vitamin D too.

While waiting for the pharmacist we popped here to snice for a deep bowl of tomato soup*

*off camera is a date slice (made with soy flour and agave but still Not Good for us At All #sigh back to healthy eating when we can drag ourselves out of bed of a morning :(

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visions of the last week of June: bucket, spade, novels, tea-shops and William in CORNWALL!

oh, darlings, we are So Terribly Excited.

our Good Friend William (who writes this very witty and occasionally rather naughty blog here) and I are planning a holiday/vacation/respite from manhattan (for us) and london (for him) for the last week of June in CORNWALL!

do you know Cornwall?

it was its own country for years and is, of course, the site of Tintagel, the Seat of Arthur (and William’s sister lives awfully nearby so we hope to visit her too if we are on our best behaviour/behavior/manners)

we’ll be staying in Porthleven at a cottage very near the beach.

helpful arrow showing location of cottage. (the children looking for cockles and bugs do not belong to either William nor team gloria ;-)

and according to the guidebook the beach was built during Napoleonic Times – sadly by French prisoners of war – we told you before it was hard to grow up with the bloods of three warring nations – but, on the plus side is there might be distant cousins still residing in the area, one hopes – wonder how we’ll recognize each other.

we could always ask Beatrice, the President of the Old Cornwall Porthleven Society (founded 1970s). we may well drop her a (digital) line right now. sadly we noticed that the Society does not meet in June. which is a pity because, we note from their site, they serve a good tea following each occasion.

All talks followed by refreshments..[Pasty or Tea Treats ] and a ‘cuppa’.

what do you suggest? have you ever been to Cornwall? do tell!

something that deeply appeals is the watching of films set in the place itself.

we are going to start with Ladies in Lavender, starring Maggie Smith and Judi Dench. here is the DVD cover from the German edition, just for some cultural enrichment of mixing-it-up (plus the ladies look much nicer on this one than the other english-speaking covers for some reason).

talking of lavender – our good friend Cheltenham Lady (whom, if you recall, took us to the hospital on the fateful day of September 9th), came round for tea yesterday evening and brought us a gorgeous and Most Thoughtful gift of bath oils, including a sumptuous french lavender which we sunk into Most Gratefully late last night and had a little healing cry, if truth be told. yes, we see the surgeon again today for follow up blood results and have a tiny bit of apprehension as we feel so Horribly Old when we wake up in the morning due to the nasty synthroid…..