there’s something so completely delicious about turning-in-early and waking-up-rested.
but we regret nothing (well, there are a Few Things, but even those most probably Built Character – *coughs*)
because Jennifer Saunders has influenced us Almost as much as Noel Coward and Anita Loos.
for reasons that might not appear obvious at first but when you take-a-moment (and possibly scratch your nose or take what Eddie Izzard calls “strokey-beard-time”) you’ll see why.
sometimes we’re not sure why or who or what we’re doing at all.
and on other days (like today) it all seems delightfully possible and Most Delicious.
especially when we do a little Light Consulting (and pitching writing work) in the Morning and have an e n t i r e afternoon and evening ahead (interrupted most deliciously at 3PM with tea with-a-new-LA-acquaintance) with the Muses of the classical ancient world fallen-to-modern-day-Hollywood.
the adaptation is beginning – we’re still reading through the screenplay we wrote but today we start to flesh it out into a Novel.
EXT. DONAL BAY BEACH – NEXT DAY
Calliope emerges from the surf and walks up the beach, past couples making out on the sand, past the lifeguard station.
Donal Bay – center of the life coach business – where new muses are born, apparently.
She raises an ironic eyebrow, grins, and looks around.
It’s time for the big reveal.
She touches the emerald bracelet on her wrist and one of the stones lights up.
A lifeguard stands up and sees her.
Hey man, where did you spring from?
She looks down at her body and confirms she is female.
It’s like you just appeared out of thin air.
The air isn’t thin. It is multi-dimensional.
Do you want to grab a beer later? Can I have your number?
My number? First of the Nine.
She walks up the beach and into the grove of palm trees.
INT. DONAL BAY LIFE COACH INSTITUTE LOBBY – MOMENTS LATER
A very perky receptionist is trying to create order.
Everyone please take a number and wait your turn.
Calliope ENTERS. Everyone in the reception area is carrying a copy of the magazine with the “ARE LIFE COACHES THE NEW MUSES?…” headline
Good news certainly travels fast.
She walks up to reception.
How do I become a “life coach”?
Please take a number and wait.
Calliope opens her hand and has the next number being called.
The receptionist giggles and points down the hall.
A relief to see the charm still works on modern humans.
A man and a woman walk down the hall and do a double-take at how beautiful she is. Calliope beams.
I simply adore being visible.
She checks her emerald bracelet. The light is flickering.
I had no idea it would take so much energy.
She looks sad and turns the big stone off.
Perhaps a little undercover work wouldn’t hurt.
People walk by her and don’t see her. She sighs.
EXT. DONAL BAY LIFE COACH INSTITUTE – LATER
Calliope has an armful of text books and CDs. She sits down outside the yoga studio next door and puts her hand on top of each book to draw out the knowledge, nodding occasionally.
Interesting principles. Remarkably familiar.
A couple of people walk by.
No wonder they are not listening to us anymore. They are now pretending to BE us.
She leaves the text books on the table and turns around to see the yoga studio behind.
At least yoga is still popular.
She looks around Donal Bay’s now almost deserted street. A pretty scene, twilight falling, twinkle lights in palm trees.
I’m going to stay in Donal Bay a while.
INT. LAUNDRY ROOM – DONAL BAY APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT
A laundry room inside a partly covered garage under an apartment building four blocks from the ocean. JOHN, 35, is watching LIVY, 35, pretty but understated in yoga gear. Calliope ENTERS – unseen.
You can tell we live in Donal Bay, there’s always sand in the dryer.
LIVY stuffs the laundry bag, dreamily.
She uses words – like music. I haven’t heard a human do that for so many years.
So, back to dating…..
I’m still a Venus Fly Trap for the Twisted and Depraved, remember?
I do regret saying that. But I heard you had a crush.
I did. So spill.
They all EXIT, LIVY carrying her laundry in her arms.
EXT. BACK STAIRS OF APARTMENT BUILDING – MOMENTS LATER
At four blocks from the ocean, the view is inspiring.
I am so embarrassed.
This sounds promising already.
She’s not real.
Calliope listens, with interest.
You’ve lost me.
She’s on television.
Deeply interesting. Playing a human or an alien?
LIVY swats him with her laundry bag. Calliope gets closer.
Calliope shrugs and looks up at the sky with a smile.
Well, that’s a relief.
But I can’t have a crush on someone on television!
We live in Los Angeles. Everyone we know is on television.
They walk inside the apartment building.