post-surgery wisdom (we just reached the angry stage).

(soundtrack to this post, in case you’re curious: McAlmont & Butler – Yes – thanks to William and we’d like to point out – in our Youth – we wrote a very nice piece on David M for a certain Australian magazine…..)

the hardest thing to bear has been the relentless optimism (which might be appropriate if one has been brought up here in the land of – ahem – denial) and the minimizing of our current reality and imminent future (no, to be honest, we’re not “raring to get back to work” – we feel really sick and would like the time to recover if that’s not too much to ask).

we’re all for acting only on the evidence to date.

but we’d just like to say one BIG thing we’ve know now: post-surgery.

………………….when someone gets a diagnosis of

“you have a tumour/tumor and we found a mass and need to operate”

we are going to say:

here’s what we did when we heard that.

we’re NOT going to say “everything’s going to be fine”*.

because – the middle bit – between diagnosis and eventual full recovery (one hopes) is Not Fine.

It Hurts.

And It Sucks.

A Lot.

and here’s another thing we’d like to say.

for everyone who said:

oh, that’s exactly what happened to my friend X

(and then you ask them for details – most of the time they don’t actually have details – but when they do it turns out to be some keyhole surgery – Not What We Had At All and we have the nasty Frankenstein’s monster/monstre/creature black and blood encased wound on our neck to prove we had our Throat Slit)

OR some people (who Really ought to know better – hmmm, that was our Nancy Mitford voice then – crisp and Rather Withering) said:

so – and – so was right as rain shortly after

not to be dramatic (oh, how we lie ;-)

we’d like to put our hand on our heart and remember these people who once had a doctor sit in front of them and say:

“you have a tumour/tumor and we found a mass and need to operate”

a  n  d                        d  i  d  n  ‘ t                           m  a  k  e             i  t

goodnight and sweet dreams wherever you are: Liz T, Greg P, John D, Ruth P and so many more………..

!good news!: we managed to speak later today. and not just through – actual sounds. damaged vocal chords for a little while. sounded like us circa 1995 on 2 x packets of Camel Lights (forgive us) a day and the other bad habits. but it felt good to TALK. and especially TO LAUGH. And then to have a little cry (ABM was a GEM and read to us from Armistead Maupin and we taught him how to say “shall I be mother” as he picked up the teapot to top us up).


3 thoughts on “post-surgery wisdom (we just reached the angry stage).

  1. Oh. The middle bit is the pits. Not fine at all. But, Gloria. She’s fine. We have a Gloria in our house. One of the plastic angels in our Christmas creche. She has a sister, Alle. Alleluia. She is a real badass…the flying angel who swoops in to save the day. I like the idea of swooping. Of saving the day. In the middle bit of all of it. Swooping. That would be fine with me.

  2. I can certainly appreciate the gross bleuchness of that surgery. Very very tricky location. It will get better. But I think those results should be speeded up. The waiting is the very hardest part.

    When I was diagnosed with cancer it was like attending my own funeral (but being alive) – lots of flowers, poems, nice things were said about me (as if that made it all worse), people popped up out of the woodwork I hadn’t seen for decades etc etc. Very surreal. Shame on your work for not being nicer and more supportive.

do say something - do :-)

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