countdown to surgery date. september 9th is now not so far away.
not that we are FOND of tobias and his sisters – we know they have to go – and be examined, naked and shivering (that’s them – team gloria will be in a puce shade gown, no doubt, and hopefully not cold in the operating theatre/theater/joint) in a petri dish under a microscope – to see if they have C powers. but do they have to slit our throat? yup, apparently so.
so we did a shopping list for pre-surgery requirements (it’s below, we thought you might want to know…..or not)
ok – so did we tell you we have “assistance”? yeah, your heart bleeds for our executive perks we know……but how else could we do the day-job-and-survive-the-sniper-fire-of-midtown? we have an (executive – because we are an executive, we know, makes us giggle too) assistant at work (who is just delicious, you’d love her) and we have one for our home life too.
it’s a glamorous concierge-type service (although he also sends-the-boys-round to deal with you know the downside of living in roasting manhattan humidity and the effects on one’s lovely apartment) and we ADORE texting him from CHINA to organize pick-up of dry cleaning and buying our favorite yoghurt (zero per-cent greek just in case you want to buy us a snack sometime) to stock the fridge with those terribly heavy bottles of evian we couldn’t possibly carry on our own with all the tech gadgets we cram in our messenger bag.
so just in case you are heading for throat-slitting surgery yourself, here’s what you might need (the frames are to distract us by doing more amusing captioning of vintage magazine ads, ok? and the padlock – well – read on…)
EMAIL TO JONATHAN FROM TEAM GLORIA (why does this suddenly feel like a Diana Vreeland memo? giggle)
Are you around the next day or so? Could you do the following please?
1. Pottery barn – white frames (1 for 5 x 7 pix and 2 for 10 x 8 pix) and plain wood (2 for 5 x 7 pix)
2. Sturdy padlock (serious one)
3. Pick up dry cleaning (1 piece)
4. (strong – 800 mg?) tylenol (small bottle – NO more than 30 if poss pls – and regular NOT PM or anything with codeine in it!)
5. Citracal plus vitamin D – calcium citrate caplets (only brand name Citracal allowed by surgeon apparently ;) 630 mg if poss (or 315 mg and I’ll double up)
6. Aloe vera for neck scaring (no idea how this comes – cream or gel?)
Thanks ever so much
RESPONSE FROM JONATHAN TO TEAM GLORIA
Yes I can get all that, out of all this the padlock is the strangest ;)
you can see why we like him, non?
ok, the padlock is for the local swimming pool. our regular de-stress joint is closing for repairs (yeah, in summer, great timing) and so we scouted around for a new place and they said “serious padlock for the lockers” (thrilling! swimming with the criminal element) so that’s what we’re asking jonathan for.
btw, we had the BEST EVER response to telling someone about tobias yesterday. we were in a very grand business meeting and had to take a deep breath and point out we were going on medical leave in september.
she leaned forward, looked intently and said the most brilliant stuff – all about how she gets through stuff like this, how her friends get through it, what it takes, who to know, what to ask/demand/manipulate and to remind us that we have a huge job that comes with health insurance.
most people die because they don’t have it.
we gulped and got a little bit misty (which is ok, because we’re a european and they expect us to be a bit more emotional and vivid and god knows, we ARE ;-)
and then she said.
it takes a village to go through this. i’m now part of your team.
isn’t that beautiful.
team gloria needs friends like that.
and then we got back to the deal we were discussing (which was TERRIBLY GLAMOUROUS) and it was fabulous once more.
isn’t life grand?
ps: do you listen to Pandora at work? we do. kinda low on the iTouch even though we do have our own office. some excellent early ABBA today. we are even swaying to Barbra doing a duet with one of the boys from the Bee Gees right now.
and they think we are doing really important stuff.
but we like to sway while we think deeply and do VERY IMPORTANT PROJECT PLANS.
don’t bust us, darlings.